It gets unbearable ....

Sometimes, I wake up believing I cant wake up anymore.

self pity?

Prove yourself to me.

sometimes, I wonder what im doing and I wonder why im here. i need to sit down and take the time to make the answers clear.

Happy

    Belated

         _Halloween

things come at all the right times.

Im ready to spend some time with you tonight.

I love everything about you, and who you are.

seeing you means everything to me.

So, when you open up and trust someone everything just falls apart.

I hate this, I hate even feeling this way.

figure out who you are and what you want.

Dear Today:

      laundry, work, attempting to fix my car, are all on the to do list.

                                        _{Need Coffee}

  [Maggie] [May]

^{Dear Yesterday,}

    Why did you let him make me feel and look stupid?

Since Friday we have not been on speaking terms because he did not want me going out.

Then, apparently things change by Sunday and she will make "an excellent wife and lover one day"

You make me sick yesterday.

So, here is for today & cutting ties.

^{Dear Today,}

        I text him asking for my apartment key back..

and he tells me he doesnt want it...

so I tell him that its okay I would just like to get it back.

He says..uuugggghhh you confuse me.

Here is for the future...I think it is officially time to forget my past and continue my journey through life. I have lost enough this year to put up with someone who is unsure about us and life. Im letting him move on and be the confusing one because in the end...he will regret it and miss me.

Every picture you paint.

         I will paint myself out.

I will lie awake

  and lie for fun

    and fake the way i hold you

       let you fall for every empty word i say.

so..just wanted to blog. my hair is definately growing from this time last year. I am completely just in shock that I love someone so much and this time last year was when we really started to have problems. Halloween was the specific day, but it was brewing around the first of October. I am definately going to make a deal with myself..I am going to leave myself vulnerable to love and try it out as a learning experience.